January 30, 2009

living in an alternate reality, how i do it- J. Biden

Category: Joe Biden, alternate reality — Lorrie @ 10:15 am

Living in the same parallel universe, Joe Biden and Rod Blagojevich believe in the motto: “ego speakenze ergo est verite” meaning, if it comes out of my mouth, it makes it real.  Once more reinventing history as we know it, Biden remembers his own reality stating, “Over the last 100 years the middle class was built on the back of organized labor. Without their weight, heft and their insistence starting in the early 1900’s we wouldn’t have the middle class we have now, in my view,” Biden told cnbc on Thursday. “So I think labor getting a fair share of the pie is part of it.” This the day that obama signed 10 executive orders as a thank you to Unions at the white house. Payback is another word for “fair share of the pie”. In his lack of actual facts it’s hard to know where to start.  Unions creating the middle class as we know it, hmmm does he mean the declining middle class of today? Anyone remember Pittsburg Steel, or been to Youngstown, Ohio lately?  A big thanks to unions, who pouted and whined their way out of good jobs and destroyed an industry single handedly, all this for the people they supposedly represent.  Like all good liberal ideas, it starts with the premise of caring for the downtrodden, then quickly turns into a power grab and the constituents get, well, you know…

I think the middle class was more likely formed by people willing to work hard and make a life for themselves, but that doesn’t fit the democratic victim profile.  When Joe Biden speaks, we are the victims.  If i were somehow locked in a room with him and had to listen to him talk for more than 5 minutes i would have seizures just so i wouldn’t have to hear it.  I found a definition today that seems to fit, thanks to Andrea Peyser, I think definitions one and three are most appropriate.
definition of celebutard: 1. a famous person with a grandiose notion of his own importance and contribution to the known universe. 2.  a human being of sub-par intellect, oversized ego and colossal bank account, whose existence represents a drag on the food chain, a waste of oxygen and severe annoyance. 3. an egregious moron. Not to be disrespectful. It’s just better if he doesn’t talk. Please. It just hurts. 
January 28, 2009

send money, the end is near

Category: General Medicine — Lorrie @ 6:34 pm

I’ve always been convinced that God has a sense of humor, but I especially enjoy being in on the joke. It seems every time my deluded friend Al Gore goes to sound the alarm somewhere they set record lows in temperature. very funny. And he still has the gall to keep talking. reality has never gotten in his way. His self proclaimed godly gifts of foretelling the future, controlling world temperatures and saving the universe must have finally caused God to roll his eyes and allow him to be the universal butt of a joke. of course its in a good way. it is God after all. Let’s hope Al gets the hint before even hell freezes over. I’m cold!

January 27, 2009

If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride

Category: General Medicine — Lorrie @ 3:30 pm

In a scene stolen from Will Smith’s Independence Day, Inauguration Tuesday featured worshipful believers with handmade signs, “We heart you” “welcome friends”.  While in the movie, the alien “friends” paused for a second, opened up the blasters and quickly silenced their adoring admirers,  In real life, Obama waited four whole days before blowing his followers out of the water. But since they prefer to remain uninformed,  they don’t even know it yet. Saturday was the day he forgot about the “95% of Americans” and started discussing when the new taxes would commence. My lightning rod of hate, nancy pelosi, would like to have them start now and be retroactive, because she’s such a sweety. some people say she is just like the nation’s grandmother. and in a way, she does remind me of a fairy tale grandma.  the one where she has such big teeth and big nose and grandma! what’s that sulfur smell? when did you start carrying a trident? but I digress…

In another bold move, today Obama graciously gave his manhood away on Saudi tv.  Saving Jesse Jackson the trouble. As he apologized for the mistakes America has made and promised to be a complete wimp on foreign policy, our enemies finally experienced what it is like to have christmas.  All these good feelings will convince them that we are really nice and that Christmas is not such a bad idea after all.  It just might work. I must run and make some welcome signs!  for dinner, let’s have roast sitting duck.