Survive the Left

Gov. Sanford always secretly wanted to be a contributing writer to major newspapers. That dream has now come true.

Not wanting to insult Iran by calling them a brutal dictatorship, Obama prefers to insult them by serving them cold hot dogs on the Fourth.

always ready to take personal responsibility Obama crushes tobacco industry because they force him to smoke in front of his kids.

With Hillary unsuccessfully helping him find one, Obama finally decides to BORROW moral compass so he can condemn Iran’s iron fist.

Acorn soon coming to our door to check for guns and homeschoolers. White people count as 1/2 conservatives as -2. Let the non-census begin.

Cowed public finally polling lower on obama approval numbers. Doing classic “it’s not you, it’s me” dance to protect his frail super ego

erroneously believing that we need his affirmation, Iranian dictator has expelled U.S. from “circle of trust” that he learned about @ movies

new poll shows U.S. doesn’t want healthcare, would prefer better sex more often. Obama says screwing americans already top of agenda

Obama mideast speech meets main objective of successfully enraging more muslims toward infidel U.S.